Welcome to Stockholm
After getting shoved around again by rude and oblivious Swedes at Sturecompagniet last night, I decided to give proper warning to prospective expats thinking of moving here. Given all the America bashing in the press these days, I don’t feel so bad taking aim at the Swedes. This site should serve as a quick primer for those pondering moving here.
Swedish Maid
I live just south of Odenplan on Sveavagen. I’m an American in my mid-20s and am an exchange student at Handelshögskolan, a.k.a. the Stockholm School of Economics.
Naively, I was expecting a warm reception in Sweden; similar to when I lived in France, Italy, and Switzerland. Instead, I met a people whose personalities are as icy as the winterish region they call home.
Swedish people are like over-hyped celebrities. Like Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan, they are beautiful and glamorous from afar, but when you get up close, you realize there’s not much substance, they’re rather boring, and you wonder why you were so fascinated with them to begin with. And, after getting to know them more, you realize that they also have some pretty disgusting habits.
Read on for Swedish Etiquette…
November 7th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I agree. the swedish girls i’ve met all think they’re god’s gift to the planet. get a life
December 22nd, 2008 at 5:24 pm
You are in Stockholm! Ofcourse all are retarded idiots
December 25th, 2008 at 6:49 am
I would say that you shouldn’t judge a Swede upon visiting Stockholm really.
December 27th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Stockholm is full of retards. No wonder you had a bad time.
February 9th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
The Swedes are the rudest people I Know!!!!!
After spending a week here in Sweden I have come to the conclusion that Swedes are rude. I never noticed this when I lived here but now, Jesus…
First of all. All Swedes think they are the best when they are not (I am). They never give way, if they happen to walk in to you as they will, they don’t say “sorry” or “my bad” or whatever. They just smash in to you and walk on as if nothing happened.
Swedes also tend to suddenly stop in the middle of the street so you walk straight in to them. If you happen to do that they will look at you in disgust even though it was their own fucking fault for stopping in the first place!
The other day as I was on my way home on the tube I saw this old man walking along the aisle looking for a seat. We were at opposite ends at the train and Swedish trains are long, I mean really long. The poor old man, probably in his late 70’s slowly made his way to my end of the train. Now not a single fucking person got up offering the old man a seat. When he finally got close to my end of the train I offered him my seat at which point the old man grabbed hold of me and thanked me profoundly. You could tell he was moved and very tired.
He got off a few stops later and once again he came up to me and thanked me before slowly making his way out in to the cold.
I mean come on, an old man! What heartless fucking assholes have you Swedes become? I like Sweden and all but I can’t remember Swedes being like this! What’s even worse is it’s almost Christmas, everyone should be happy and kind.
God, this reminds me of this girls blog I jokingly left a message on and she just went psycho bitch on me, thinking I was attacking her or something. Where is all this hostility coming from? You know what? Swedes need to get the fuck over themselves.
Merry christmas assholes (and if you are not an asshole, good on you!!)
February 16th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Dude – I’ve lived in Sweden for 15 years. Face it, Swedes are the rudest, lowest class folks on the planet. You can come up with umpteen excuses for why they are rude. It doesn’t change the fact that these folks are the most thoughtless, low-class nobodies walking planet earth today. I’ve lived all around the world and could never have conceived of a society of folks so unhappy that they actually revel in seeing their fellows suffer. It still shocks me to this day. The best I can do is pity them.
March 8th, 2009 at 7:19 am
This was a very entertaining read! I wish it went on for longer as I was enjoying myself.
March 13th, 2009 at 8:05 am
You are funny and you are from Usa.
Vietnam, Irak, Guantanamo bay, Nuclear bomb, 2,5 million in prison, every 5th child is born in to powerty, creators of the talibans, by far highest murderrate in the world, the most uncool people in the world, do not pay their dues to the UN, some places as New York are civilised, but the greatest part of the country consist of uneducated hooboos.
Have not signed the kyoto agrement, holds Israel under the arms.
Yes you are a great nation.
You are falling that makes me glad.
March 15th, 2009 at 2:00 am
Hello friends. I am swedish and amateur philosopher and historian (I like to read books). I had a discussion with two people on the internet a couple of days ago. We discussed swedish history, long gone and recent. I told them about everything from rationing of alcohol (people were not allowed to decide for themself how much to drink) to how the state visited every home to interrogate people on the lutheran catechesis. Sweden was never a feodal state, it was a totalitarian one man state for many hundred of years, people are raised here to submit to central authority. People are cold and distant because they are raised in a country were individuality is completely destroyed (you are not a sacred individual, you are what you work woth, outside your social role you are nothing). Sweden is intellectually backward, has never been part of the cultural tradition that was taking place in greece and rome, also Sweden did not fully accept the enlightenment.
I can tell you one thing, Sweden is surely a very disturbed country, but have in mind, all our history is almost completely totalitarian.
Swedes are that way. I have for many years experimented with the golden rule. The problem was that I did not get respect back. So, the golden rule does not work in Sweden. And it is a very simple rule. But swedish people does not understand very simple things, because that would require some kind of self-reflection and critical thinking. Swedish people lack self.
But as a Sweden I may say, I long for freedom.
April 12th, 2009 at 12:43 am
I live in Stockholm currently and I can honestly say that the swedes are the most miserable people i have ever met in my life. they are shallow and superficial and insecure. i can’t wait to leave this wretched place.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Damn! I’ve always wanted to met Sweden and swedish girls. I have a couple of friends that went to gottenborg and told me about all that incredible adventures drinking and listening swedish death metal. Anyway, I don’t have the money neither the time to go there.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
my bad, it is Göteborg, Gottenborg is in Norway.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Ok – I’m not moving there anymore!
May 2nd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
It’s depressingly true. Swedes really are shallow, vacuous, vapid lickspittles.
They would rather bankrupt themselves into looking (what they consider to be) great, in order to marry well (both boys, girls, gays, straights). Yet this is hardly likely as the swedish middleclass are by most 1st world standards impoverished.
It’s a Mickey mouse country to be sure. Great for the odd visit, but seriously hard on the soul to live in.
May 16th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Yes I agree that Swedes are very rude.
I am a born and raised in Sweden and I often think about how rude, uncivilised and ignorant Swedes are. I almost get a shock when I meet a nice shop assistant, when that’s the common thing in other country’s.
I have been thinking about moving some place else, because I have a hard time meeting a friendly girl here.
Of course there do exist some very nice Swedes.
The answer to why so many are rude is that Swedish culture is is it’s nature/the wildlife not civilised manners so you should not judge people by how they act (but of course we all do to some extent) the just don’t how to interact wither others. Swedes are novice when it comes to socialising.
And one other thing, I hate to say it but it’s one part of the truth. The free Swedish school system that’s gives everybody a opportunity to a education has a dark side, people with no class, generally working class or cocky middle class tend to think that they are always right since they have got a good education and earn a lot of money – but they don’t have a solid ground.
I have no idea how this will develop in the future.
May 17th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Hello I am a Swede and I have noticed the same thing about Swedes in general (in fact it has bothered me for quite some time). I wonder, where to move? UK, Germany, France, US, or … all the best Wille
May 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I am American and lived in France for a few years along with other places. People calling the Swedes the most miserable, rudest people, are deluded. You’re basing your assumptions because you want people to act the way your culture expects them, not theirs.
There’s not one person here who has any respect for Swedes, isn’t that disrespectful and rude in and of itself?
May 25th, 2009 at 3:27 am
Hi all. I can understand why people call us Sweds rude but i find it pretty rude by you guys judge us all because you have surely not met all of us. I’m not rude at all and non of my friends are. Next time when you visit Sweden i recommend you to try out the Northern part like Sundsvall, Umeå and Luleå. We are a bit shy up here I love it.
And if you are in Stockholm you should not go to sturekompaniet it’s i a place for rich or wannabe rich people to brag about how much money they can waste.
Cheers
Jonas
May 25th, 2009 at 11:39 am
It sucks that you haven’t had a better time here up until this point, but as a native Stockholmer I just want to say that you are most welcome to our great and beautiful city!
May 28th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Hi, sorry you feel this way, but I gotta tell you, this says more about the capital Stockholm, than about Sweden. The country is truly wonderful, but in Stockholm it is like you say “Everyone for him/herself”, but in almost any other city I have lived in, this is not the case. Stockholm is unfortionately some kind of a “black sheep” for Sweden.
June 14th, 2009 at 6:57 am
It is sad to read these impressions you have had after living in sweden…i am italian and i happened to spend a few months in sweden, in umeå as well as in stockholm…it is true that swedes may seem a bit too “precious” and “as fragile as crystal” (so please do not dare getting too close) in stockholm, but i have never met rude ones…i could consider myself lucky, when i found a warm and lovely environment in umeå…up there people were so nice and friendly…
in spite of this, i felt this sort of empathy while reading those lines you wrote in such bitterness and discomfort…i share those feelings now, that i moved to finland…i am only writing to warn you, there is nothing here in finland that you wouldn’t find anywhere else, and in better versions…so, no reason to come here and no reason to get slapped in the face by this true, meaningless, ignorant hostility.
If you can’t take anymore of Sweden, well…keep away from escaping to Finland!
July 14th, 2009 at 6:08 am
I have had a lot of experience of different nationalities from all over the world, thanks to my job.
It is clear that all countries have some nice people AND some unpleasant people. Nowhere is all of just one. However, in my experience, the VAST majority of Swedish people I have met, have been extremely rude, cruel, and horrible people. My job involves me getting to know people for a while, so although at first they are fairly polite like most other nationalities, it’s only once you get to know them better that they really turn.
Trust me, I am not racist towards any colour or nationality, but the exception is now Swedes. I really wish this wasn’t the case, but it would be silly for me to think otherwise. With the first horrible Swedes, I even chuckled to myself and I wondered if they all knew each other something. I just put it down to a coincidence. With the 4th, 5th, and 6th Swede, I wondered if maybe I was missing out on a part of their humour or something. The thing is though, I spent a lot of my youth in the UK and they have a very dry humour but also are very sarcastic. Often this isn’t fully picked up on by none Brits, but it’s usually so over the top that it’s quite obvious and if you asked them they will explain that they were being sarcastic. With these Swedes though, they seem to be extremely cruel and extremely rude, and yet their tone doesn’t change at all. The nail in the coffin for me, was when I was working in a group of 20 people from all over the world. We had 6 Americans, two French guys, a girl from the UK, a pair of brothers from Russia (who were hilarious by the way), a German, a couple of people from Spain, and then some people from Australia and a couple from South Africa. It was a very harmonious group until one of them left and was replaced by a Swedish guy. This guy was extremely rude to me in the first DAY! I confronted him immediately and he backed down so I just kind of wrote it off as a misunderstanding or something.. But in the coming weeks, he went on to be extremely cruel about some other people in our group. He would blame things on them and criticise their performances. If one of them would stand up to him, rather than him say “Oh I was just kidding, I was being sarcastic”, he would actually defend his position and further upset them. At the end I had to just assume that he was a really nasty person, and others in the team did too.
I should point out that this was 6th Swede I have met, and of all of those six, EVERY one of them behaved in a similar way, and were extremely unpleasant. I recently had put all this to the back of my mind because it’s been a while since I’ve worked in those teams. But recently I have been back at home and I have been relaxing a lot and I started playing computer games again which is a hobby I’ve had for most of my life. I bought a game recently and I went on to the forum to see people talking about it and hopefully to learn some things. I made a post on the forum and all the players replied and were really helpful and some of them even welcomed me to their community. It was really nice because often gamers are young and often very rude and immature so this was really nice. A week later, I saw a message in my inbox on the forum, and it was from the Moderator. He had issued me a “Formal Warning” for posting in the wrong section of the forum! I was amazed. I am a paying customer, and posting in the wrong section is about the most minor thing you could do. The forum has dozens of sections, technical support, online play, offline play, etc.. so posting in the wrong place is an easy mistake to make. On the countless game forums I’ve been on in the past, American and pretty much everywhere, at the most, a moderator would just move your post and they may even send you a message explaining that they moved it and they would let you know about other areas. But getting a “formal warning” as a paying customer, for something so incredibly minor, I was shocked. So I sent the moderator a message and said I was quite offended at being issued a warning of something so minor. He replied saying, “You should be grateful that I didn’t ban you” for not reading the forum rules. Now, there are rules and there are rules… Don’t set fireworks off on a long haul flight across the Atlantic is quite a good rule. Don’t poke metal objects in a plug socket is a good rule. But posting in the wrong section of a website is SO minor, it shouldn’t be worthy of a warning. It wasn’t a spoiler or anything that would upset ANYONE, it was completely innocent and completely minor. So not only did he warn me, but he also was rude saying that I should be grateful I didn’t get banned which is just so completely over the top. It was then that I noticed his “Location”, it was Sweden. He is the 7th Swede I have come across, albeit he is just one I’ve come across over the internet.
I am now though, rightly or wrongly, assuming that Swedish people generally, are just scum bags. I don’t WANT to be racist towards a country, but 7 out of 7 is not good! Yes I’ve met rude people from other countries, but you always get others who are nice and some are extremely nice and very friendly and helpful. Sure if you go to New York City you might find that a lot of people are quite cold, but I remember buying a sandwich from a little Deli and the guy asked me about my accent and I ended up chatting to him for ages and he told me about lots of interesting ‘none touristy’ places to visit. But to meet 7 Swedes and every one of them was rude and cruel in some way, has just forced me to now look upon Swedish people with suspicion. In a way, I pity them. If they don’t get much sunlight and it makes many of them suffer from depression then that is a really sad thing. I remember reading about how some people suffer from S.A.D (Seasonally Affected Disorder) and would have to plug in ultra violet lights to give them some vitamin D. So if that’s the case then I’m sorry about that. But I just have to go on what I’ve experienced myself, and with other nationalities I’ve seen both good and bad. With the 7 Swedes I’ve met, every one of them has been extremely nasty.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Indeed they are assholes galore! I only have experience with 3 of them but all absolute scum, they do not deserve the face of this earth. They are the kind that only takes and never give anything back to society. If you are surrounded by a swede, my advice would be to cut them off like a cancer.
July 15th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Funniest shallow thing i’ve read in ages!!!
July 21st, 2009 at 9:50 am
oh my god – so much hate.
so you pity me. i am a retard. i am rude. i don’t deserve living.
what can i say?
welcome to the beautiful city where i happen to be born, and please, talk to me the next time you’ll see me on the subway, i would love to have a chat with you about this or that – as always when someone starts talking to me. maybe we’ll end up doing frisbee-golf or having a beer together.
ps. i never set my foot on stureplan, that is a place merely designed for people to spend money and show off.
August 2nd, 2009 at 4:45 pm
while i am only half swedish, and born and raised in new jersey, i tend to take after the swedish immigrants whose trip across the atlantic somehow harbored my existence. yes, drunken bi-polar swedish blood swashes through my veins but i have to say, although i dont agree with general rudeness (or pushing, specifically) i find myself having the same anxieties about approaching people or saying hello to aquantences that you’ve noticed amongst the swedish people. and although i dont mean it to be rude, i will walk 10 blocks out of my way to avoid having an awkward chat with someone, and that could be someone i know, used to know, hardly know, or don’t know at all. i found this site trying to research how much of my oddly bi-polar personality actually comes from the swedes. im interested in how they react to things such as sadness and drama because i consider myself to be pretty sad and dramatic. im also gregarious and a funlovin gal, so perhaps thats not my swedish side… but who knows. i got a great kick out of your webpage tho! thanks for sharing your experience.
August 9th, 2009 at 8:37 am
hahaha, most of you are so damn pathetic that you make me laugh. Get a life. (and then you acctually might be able to have an acctual opionion, not based on your lacks of insights when it comes to the Swedish mentality.)
Have a nice day! (oh, look I could say it…wow:-))
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 am
If you think Stockholm is bad – try going to Oslo! (That’s in Norway for you Americans)… They are at least 10 times worse.
October 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Been working in Sweden for a year now.
They are a funny people, hard to understand, cold as dead herring, and pathologically concerned about their social security and conforming. Then again, I live in Stockholm which is probably the gloomiest place on earth from October through April. I find that Swedes have a real tough time distinguishing between honest integrity and avoiding open discussion. They will lie through their teeth to avoid any sort of honest talk that might be a tad difficult. I work in an NGO, and while some of my younger colleagues are worldly and friendly, the older bunch, especially the executive director, simply cannot be trusted. However, even some younger people who come from rural areas have turned out to be that way, which has been the most discouraging thing.
I am disappointed in the strange organizational behavior and the lack of ethics in personal relationships. Worst of all: they rationalize it as their “culture.” Sorry to say, its driving me out of the country to move back to the US. We have major league jerks there too, of course, but at least you know where you stand.
I learned that I cannot trust Swedes generally. I apologize to those who do not fit the model, but its fairly prevalent.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Hey guys, I am planning to move to Sweden for two years to study a masters at Stockholm School of Economics. I’m a 25 year old male.
I am seriously having second thoughts, since 99% of comments I’ve found on the web regarding swedes are negative.
My question is: is it really that bad? I wouldn’t mind a 60 year old ignoring me, but are young educated people like that too? Hope I get a few responses. Peace.
October 25th, 2009 at 7:53 am
Hi JM – yes, Stockholm really is that bad.
However, if you will be there for 2 years and you will be studying at the Stockholm School of Economics, your time there won’t be all bad. Once you get integrated into the school, you will likely make friends, not least, among the other international students. Keep in mind also that the Stockholm School of Economics (SSE) is highly regarded worldwide. Despite the pain I endured living in the capitol of rudeness that is Stockholm, I’m quite proud to have the SSE name on my resume and as a talking point in job interviews, business meetings, etc.
I have to give credit where credit is due, and the Swedes do have a talent for business and engineering – there is no doubt about that. They are a tiny country of 8 million people, but have many well respected multi-national corporations (Ikea, H&M, Volvo, Saab, Ericsson, etc). There are few countries on the planet that do “International Business” as well as the Swedes. If you go to SSE and live in Sweden you will learn some of the nuances of how they have been so successful in this arena. If you are a ‘business guy’, as I am, you will appreciate that Jack Welch once remarked that Swedish managers are ‘pound for pound’ the best “International Business” managers in the world. The Swedes know how to take products and market them successfully in foreign countries. Yes, SSE is known for Finance, Economics, Capital Markets, and Investing, but what I valued most about my educational experience was learning how they are able to market products so successfully internationally.
If you value personal relationships and common courtesy though (as I do), and you have the choice of going to other top European schools (as I did), you should consider going to some of the other top schools in England, France, or Spain, where people are much more warm and friendly.
Of course, not all Stockholm people are rude. I found the general ‘culture’ of the city (or at least the portion of the city where I lived and spent my time in) to be shallow and cold, but many people, of course, are nice and warm and genuine. Again, I spent most of my time in the more snooty and stuck up areas of Stockholm during the winter, and that may have been the big problem that I had. I feel bad because I did make a few friends at SSE while I was in Stockholm, and I don’t mean to ‘throw them under the bus’ along with the rest of their boorish compatriots.
Swedish people are difficult to get close to, but given some time, and the proximity of being among fellow students for an extended period of time (2 years), you will likely gain traction. I always wondered if my poor impression of Stockholm would have been the same had I stayed there throughout the spring and summer. I always heard that summer was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I left in the spring and really was only there for the winter… notoriously the worst time to visit Sweden… when people are particularly depressed and unfriendly. If you are planning on going for 2 years, my guess is that you might be able to ‘crack’ the Swedish code, particularly among a peer group of students.
Don’t expect much from the people of Stockholm itself though, especially in the area near ‘Handels’ (Stockholm School of Economics). As a foreigner, unless you are rich or famous, or are the child of someone rich or famous, they will have little interest in you.
I’m not sure where you are from, but in the USA, if you are likable and friendly that is all that really counts. Especially at a University, people don’t care so much who your parents are, or if you have wealth or many accomplishments. All that matters really is that you are kind and friendly.
In summary though, approach Stockholm with caution. Before moving there, I talked with a few people and they all warned me about the place – that the people there were unfriendly. I went ahead and moved there anyway, which resulted in some regret. It was a great learning experience, but how much nicer things would have been had I gone to a ‘friendlier’ city in Europe.
October 25th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Hey JM,
I think you ought to give it a go. The Stockholm School of Economics is world class, and I think you will benefit from the experience.
I don’t hate Sweden or Swedes. But I am seriously disappointed in the dishonesty and neurotic behavior I’ve seen among many of my colleagues. What we would call “back stabbing” in the US seems to be an accepted practice in the workplace. There’s a general lack of integrity which I find disturbing. It’s really quite strange to me. The Swedes will just say that it’s their “culture”, but I think that’s BS. They are rationalizing despicable behavior and it seems rooted in a cultural pathology focused on their sense of organizational security in a socialist system.
I don’t think you will find as much of that ugliness in a University environment, especially one with so many students from around the world.
Give it a try, and judge for yourself.
You shouldn’t have that problem
November 17th, 2009 at 4:43 am
What happened? You guys got dissed by Swedish girls who didn’t wanna sleep with you and now you have to write this crap about them? You people get a life. god..
December 15th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
When I studied Swedish in college, I visited Southwest Sweden (Göteborg, Helsingborg, Lund och Malmö) for an extended period of time. While I was there, I had a great experience with people of all ages and genders. While I would agree with Swedes being more oblivious to certain social constructs that we have in America (personal space, please and thank you, etc.), the students we stayed and spent time with were very considerate and gracious. I think having them as a ‘guide’ to Swedish culture was important and made our stay that much more enjoyable.
Since I visited a different region, I didn’t expect your experience to perfectly mirror mine. While the students we spent time had similar things to say about people in Stockholm, I also agree with several posts that the behavior you saw was either specific to certain places or people you met (there are plenty of douchebags in American bars as well). By having the opportunity to speak with Swedes who were students like myself, I think that bridged the gap and eliminated many of the unpleasantries you experienced.
Overall, my time in Sweden was great and I learned more than I would have ever expected. I also realized I LOVE not talking to anyone at 6:30 in the morning while I rode the train to visit new people or places. It’s nice to have time to yourself occasionally. As for the personal space issues, I believe that is just a cultural gap that you can either adapt to or not. I don’t think the intent of every Swedish person you run into is to make your day worse.
As for the website, I really did enjoy reading about your experience. Although I left with a much different opinion of Sweden than you (I’d love to move there for a few years and really immerse myself in the culture and lifestyle), I did find quite a few truths, although exaggerated, that I noticed in your writing. I could totally relate on a lesser scale to your examples and found it pretty hilarious.
December 27th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Having lived in various cities all over Sweden, I would have to agree that Swedish people in general are very rude and unfriendly. Although of course there are some pleasant ones, the majority of the people all seem very superficial… and like “Antonio” said, the girls think they are Gods gift when the truth is that they really aren’t.
December 31st, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I coincidently just discovered this site, and its amazing to read comments that mirror my experience here in Stockholm and Sweden. I find Swedes to be somewhat two-faced: they’re generally nice to your face in a one-to-one exchange, but they can really stick it to you in an organizational setting. I agree with the above comment about “back-stabbing”. Swedish organizations are treacherous places, and you cannot really trust people within them.
I also think that the Swedes have a ludicrously inflated opinion of their culture. It’s generally dysfunctional, but they will project a hilarious smugness about it, especially in comparison to the US.
That said, I’m still here. I’m learning to put up with it all.
January 3rd, 2010 at 3:06 am
I think you dont understand the way of how swedes are, First they are not cold or rude, people often get things mixed up, swedes are not just into the whole drama thing, they have a hard time showing what they are really feeling, doesn’t mean that they are rude or cold, just means they dont want to show strangers they are vulnerable.
There closest friends and family are the only people who gets to see the real person behind the mask, I dont see where all the hate comes from, does it always have to be “us” and “them”?
Im 25 year old male, live in the north part of sweden 90km from Luleå we have -30c each winter and hardly any daylight pluss a lot of snow I been told, but its just normal, we never complain remember when we had -47c one winter and we even went to school no worries about that, just put on extra socks and everything was fine.
everytime I visit Stockholm I never meet any rude people, they are kind and happy to see me for some reason, you might have been unlucky to meet some real douchbags and im sorry for that, I know a few retards, but im only with the people that I like.
Please dont Judge a whole country based on ur short time in sweden, you barely scratched the surface of the ice, you might just have done so where someone peed there name in the snow.
January 6th, 2010 at 10:25 am
I been living in a couple of countries both in Europa and America and Australia.
When people move they dont feel at home, not used to the costums, and have no friends. Some people turn this into its other people fault, while they themself are perfect.
Its just a state of mind.
People writing here a probably just generally weeny.
January 13th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Poor Sweden…and Swedes. They are so reserved and cool to anyone but close friends and family, that we Yanks tend to think they are rude.
I’ve been in Stockholm for several years now. It has its pluses and minuses. It has a nice central city, but the “neighborhoods” where normal people live are simply horrible by American standards. Ugly, blocky, and souless. Stalin would approve. I really do feel sorry for the Swedes having to live in these places, and you have to cut them some slack for it. You’d be pretty unfriendly too if you had to trudge back and forth to these nightmares each day.
I will say that I find Swedes are really quite nice on a one to one basis. I will also say that I, too, think that organizational life here is kind of strange because they seem to operate on a different set of ground rules that are rather bizarre to most Americans. I haven’t cracked the code myself, but I’m getting there. I can definitely see why some posters complain about back-stabbing, but I don’t think the Swedes see it that way. I have been on the receiving end, and it’s made me kind of wary. Maybe I’ll get it one of these days, but I have learned not to trust many of my coworkers or my boss.
Swedes will claim that they are very straightforward, open, and honest about things. I find that they are just the opposite. Perhaps thats why some people think they are rude.
They aren’t rude, just neurotically obsessed with conforming and saving face.
February 19th, 2010 at 6:16 am
I thought they are so self-centered. They are talking about themselves too much and never listen. I thought it was a kind of assertiveness first but it’s just an utter selfishness. I could not have a conversation as I am simply staggered by their stupidity. I’ve heard their sence of humour is appalling. It is not just a bad sence of humour, it’s rude!
February 20th, 2010 at 9:23 am
I’m no weeny.
Lived in many countries including Australia, Spain, England, the US, Japan, and now Sweden. After several years here I am still pretty mystified by the way the Swedes go about things. They are commendably polite and respectful at a personal level, but I’m afraid that I will have to agree with those above who have been back-stabbed in the workplace. Its really strange and sometimes kind of freaky and sinister, and I’ve never been too clear on the motivations. I’ve talked with others with similar experiences. One explanation might be that Swedes and Americans often see moral and ethical issues quite differently. They speak English very well here, but don’t let that fool you. It is a different culture.
February 23rd, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Double post above, but it hits things on the bullseye. I’m just down on Sweden and Stockholm in general, googled “Stockholm sucks”, and here I am. Funny.
It’s a strange place we live in around here in Stockholm, but I wouldn’t generalize about all of Sweden. People are quite nice and open down in Gothenburg and Malmo. Then again, I do not work there. The workplace here is kind of spooky for Americans like me. I can never really figure what’s going on between the lines, and I seem to learn of problems indirectly, almost like my coworkers are embarrassed to talk about them. There’s been some major dishonesty on occassion and I do not know what to make of that. Swedes can be rude at times, but no more than Americans. I agree that the culture here is a lot different than English speakers might expect. The biggest difference is the obsession with security and not making waves, pretty much the opposite of the US. The Swedes have a sense of humor, and sort of get it sometimes. It’s pretty droll.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:31 pm
One other observation. I think that the living conditions around Stockholm have a significant impact on the Swedish mentality there. The inner city is quite nice if you can afford living there and if you can afford owning your own place. But if you have to rent in one of the so-called suburbs, things can get pretty tough and wierd for expats. The apartment rental and sublet economy is simply bizarre, the landlords and subleasors are cut throat, and the places are mostly just plain hideous.
Thats got to have an effect on people.
March 3rd, 2010 at 3:11 am
Reading this blog i have to say that i don´t mind you to be back in good old america, the place you belong to. And please do not ever again leave your fantastic country, occupied by you fantastic americans. Don´t let your great world perception be spoiled again by this awful experiences in old europe.
March 6th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Gee, I don’t think the Swedes are rude at all in personal situations. I’ve had great experiences, and I’ve chalked up any misunderstandings to my own cultural cluelessness. The workplace can be strange sometimes, but lets face it organizational behavior is often weird in America also. Here in Stockholm, you really have to learn to read between the spaces between the lines. I’ve seen some inexplicable nastiness from some Swedes at work but it hasn’t happened directly to me yet. No knives in the back that I know of. Sometimes, they do go overboard and get shockingly personal in confrontations. Just sort of blow up out of the blue. I laughed at one incident because it was so absurd, and the perpetrator did not like it at all. I’ve had some others tell me not to trust Swedes entirely, but I have no reason to do so at this point. I like Southern Sweden a lot more than I like Stockholm.
March 6th, 2010 at 11:49 am
Well, I’m with Kevin above, and I disagree with him. I don’t see any real difference in the business world. (It sucks in Stockholm and New York.) I cannot stand the ugly living arrangements here, and the landlords (who you cannot trust at all), but that’s another matter. I can’t wait for summer though. This winter has been tough.
March 8th, 2010 at 10:56 am
Living here in Stockholm does make me miss the US in many ways. Life is definitely better overall in the US, even now with all the trouble. But I don’t blame individual Swedes. It the culture they’ve inherited, which many of them dislike as much as we do. My friends here are always making fun of the way it is. If its such a problem here for you, why not just leave? No one likes to see a foreigner ridiculing or criticizing their country, but we are all OK with doing it ourselves to our own land. Sure Swedes can be rude. So can Americans, French, and Germans. The one area where I think Swedes are quite strange is how they get personal and ugly in arguments or disagreements. That has shocked me. But I wonder what they think of us.
March 21st, 2010 at 6:11 pm
i hate sweden,
i have to go there quite often as my folks work out there,
but everytime i go i feel as if they are looking down at me every where i go,
i live in the heart of london (Kensington & Chelsea) so it doesnt get much more cosmopolitan but these cats think they are the bee’s knees.
I live in stureplan , around the corner from sturecompagniet sadly so i always have to put up with these boring reserved people, sorry if i come across as rude but even other europeans i have met there who have spent more then a few years there have been “swedenised” and think they are the shit?!
i concede there are good things about sweden
- everyone is usually amazingly dressed
-and the bitches are pretty good looking
but if it means actually talking to one in order to bang her i’d rather have a wank lol
swede-phobe
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:02 am
Quotes from two swedes
# the swede says:
hahaha, most of you are so damn pathetic that you make me laugh. Get a life. (and then you acctually might be able to have an acctual opionion, not based on your lacks of insights when it comes to the Swedish mentality.)
Have a nice day! (oh, look I could say it…wow:-))
#
September 3rd, 2009 at 5:33 am
Henrik says:
If you think Stockholm is bad – try going to Oslo! (That’s in Norway for you Americans)… They are at least 10 times worse.
these two posts just proved the point better then anything else
March 25th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Well I am sure disappointed in what I’ve experienced here in Stockholm but I cant project that onto all of Sweden just yet. I’ve only been to Gothenberg once, and it seemed like a nicer place. I do not like working here though because as an American I am used to open communication and flexibility from my coworkers. Thats not how Swedes behave in business. Yes, I’ve been unpleasantly surprised by some back stabbing too. It came out of the blue with no warning either, so I have lost a lot of respect for the Swedes I work with. Living in Stockholm makes me really miss the US even with all of its issues.
April 3rd, 2010 at 9:29 am
It’s a cultural thing. Swedish people are probably the most polite that I’ve encountered in Europe, a lot more than the French or others. But its a formal politeness. Unless they know you really well, its going to end there. Sadly, i have to say that its a mistake to assume all is well in a business setting just because no one is saying anything. they dont handle situations very well and you can really get ambushed on things with no warning. I dont know how they can get by this way when working with other nationalities and countries. If you want to really freak out Swedes confront them on this very issue. they don’t know how to handle it and will probably just avoid you. not a lot of integrity and courage there.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:16 am
Haha, I find that hard to believe actually. Funny how there’s not a single dissenting voice heard amongst the comments, could it be that you (the mid-20s American guy) will not allow them (or this post) to be posted?
Jesus man, get a grip. Even if you won’t allow this to be posted (which ofc you won’t but feel free to prove me wrong!), look at the link.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:24 am
Hi Josh – thank you for your message.
Just for the record, I approve all comments – including those that disagree with this blog. Dissenting opinions are more than welcome here. If you do a search through the comments, you will see that many disagree with the main message of this blog.
The only comments I delete are those that include link spam, over-the-top profanity, racist comments, or direct baseless angry attacks. If a comment is critical of my position, but does not resort to any of the above, I absolutely approve it.
The reason I deleted your previous comment was because it included a one-way link back to your blog post that references this site, but does not link back to this site. Then you come back over to this site and add comments with links back to your own site. And you have tried doing this many times.
I classify that as link spam.
You tried to do the same thing with your previous post today. Your post was approved this time, but your link was deleted. Other posts you have made include direct attacks that include profanity. Yes, those get deleted too.
Include a trackback or link back next time and follow the basic ground rules and your posts will be approved.
Contrary to popular opinion, I do not ‘hate’ Swedes. How silly and ignorant that would it be to pass judgment on a whole country from an experience in one corner of Sweden. I made some good friends in Sweden.
The purpose of this blog was to exercise my right to freedom of speech, air some thoughts based on my frustrations with living in Stockholm, and warn others about what they might expect if they chose to move to Stockholm.
As you can see from my first post, the impetus for this blog came after a series of grievously rude occurrences that happened over the course of a regular week in Stockholm. I have lived in several countries, but never experienced rudeness the way I did in Stockholm, and I had grown very frustrated with this rudeness.
In days past, I might have written a poem, or a song, or an essay, to vent my frustrations. But in today’s day and age, what do I do? I put up a blog.
April 9th, 2010 at 9:50 am
Also, (this is a question to you, mister mid-20s American) have you never considered that perhaps you are moving in the snobby, upper-class areas of Swedish society? Stureplan is not the place where you find the common Swede, but what is usually referred to in Sweden as ‘brats’. Handelshögskolan isn’t known either for its self-reflective pupils. Perhaps you belong amongst those people. Hell, you’re rude and you seem like an ‘overhyped celebrity’ yourself. You expected a ‘warm reception’? Why would the locals be so overwhelmed at seeing you? You reap what you sow.
April 14th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I’ve been employed with a major Swedish firm for the last couple of years and have worked or interacted with at least 50 Swedes over that period. While I have lived in and traveled to every major region of the world, I have never come across more miserable or pathetic people anywhere else. The ones that have spent time abroad – in NYC, London etc – are more tolerable, but in general, these are the most unfriendly, shallow, and dull people I have ever come across. Others may disagree, but this has been my personal experience. Needless to say I have had enough of these cretins, and have actually resigned my position.
April 14th, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Most of the posts here demonstrate a quite amazing ignorance. I am an American married to a Swede for 40 years and own an apartment in Stockholm which I have visited countless times. Swedes are not reserved at all in the German sense of the term but are shy with foreigners not knowing how to break the ice themselves. If you think they are bad in this way now, you should have been here in the 60s. They are worldclass open and friendly now.
For the girl chasers, the main reason you get put off is your approach. If you approach the typical Swedish girl like you would an American one–or British one for that matter–they will either think you are immature or think that they are a whore–which is exactly what many Arab types living in Sweden think. That’ll get you a long way. Try watching what the Swedish guys do and follow their lead. Swedes have a very strong set of prejudices vis-a-vis foreign men that you simply have to be patient with, recognize and deal with. This is all a result of the Swedish free sex myth which Swedish females know other Swedes know is nonsense but think that is what foreign men think and, therefore, think they’re whores. Those of you who live there now have just found the Chinese wall they have erected as a result toward foreign males and it is up to you to get over it. They’re not the ones that made up the myth after all are they?
I have never once encountered a rude Swede in Stockholm or anywhere else in Sweden. As some others have pointed out, it’s a cultural thing. They are inherently shy in general, which doesn’t make them rude–just shy. If you are friendly and don’t act like a frivolous ass–a sure way to turn them off–they will be more than happy to help you out. Some morons actually think that Swedish females are just waiting to fall all over them. Yeah, just like all the ones at home huh? The real fact is a foreigner actually has an advantage over a male Swede because most of them find foreigners a lot more interesting than the Swedes that they know only too well. I have had numerous incidents over the years when Swedish male friends would drag met out to places with them to themselves get to meet the women, explaining that I was not the “normal” American–meaning I had figured out their prejudices and acted for the most part exactly opposite to them. So those of you failing are just your own worst enemies.
I once had an American friend working in Stockholm that met the exact standard of the handsome, well employed guy that females in the US would just fall all over and he was absolutely miserable in Stockholm getting nowhere at all with the Swedish variety. I asked him what he was doing and just laughed at his answers. He was acting just like he would in the US, meeting all the prejudices that Swedish women have of Americans, shooting himself in the foot. And whoever it was above that gave the advice of beating your own drum couldn’t be more wrong. That is one of the biggest no nos in Swedish culture. You don’t brag about yourself ever. You let your actions speak for themselves and they will come to their own conclusions. The bragging route will be one of the surest ways to shoot yourself in the foot. I gave my friend a little counseling and the next time I visited he was happily living with the proverbial beautiful blond whom he later married. It’s all in the approach guys.
The other thing you certainly don’t do is criticize Sweden to Swedish women. They are notoriously nationalistic and proud of Sweden while the men would just not pay attention to what you’re saying. Swedes themselves are critical of Sweden in their own way, which you would see if you started praising Sweden much to them. That, they view as their perogative as Swedes. Exact opposite of bragging isn’t it? In fact, it is so strong with Swedish women that after 40 years of marriage when my wife should have long since learned I am just pulling her chain, I sometimes do it just to get the inevitable reaction. And it works every time.
And, of course, you don’t expect to find serious relations in bars. You go to places where you would expect it, like museums, sports clubs and places of that nature. Those of you wanting one night stands are going to get them alright–with yourselves. Or with some real tramp whose name you will have forgotten an hour later though there are few of them in Sweden.
The last thing I will say is that Swedes have genuine friends that will last a lifetime as many of mine have both in Sweden and abroad. They’re are most definitely NOT like Americans who will introduce someone they met all of 10 minutes ago as their “friend” to someone else. Swedes are very serious about relationships whether for friendship or marriage/live in reasons. That doesn’t mean that they don’t like you or are being rude, it’s that it’s a combination of being shy and not having had enough experience with you to judge you otherwise.
April 14th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Now, try reading how this Swede explains Sweden as it is quite accurate and you might learn something. Notice what he says about bragging:
http://www99.epinions.com/content_5391818884
April 14th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
And now for a laugh on Sweden:
YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN IN SWEDEN TOO LONG WHEN…
408 reasons and going strong!
1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you can keep to take to the shop and which ones can be sacrificed for rubbish.
2. You no longer snigger when you see grown women walking around with their hair in plaits.
3. The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
4. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
5. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
a: he is drunk
b: he is insane
c: he’s an American
6. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
7. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer “Oh, I’m going to Europe!” meaning any other Western European country outside of Sweden.
8. You no longer crunch up or fold your paper money. You always put your money in your wallet.
9. You see a student taking a front row seat on the bus and wonder “Who does he think he is?”
10. Silence is fun.
11. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
a: duty free vodka
b: duty free beer
c: to party hearty. .. no need to get off the boat in Helsinki, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Sweden.
12. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.
13. You pass a supermarket and think “Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!”
14. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound “Jah hahh”
15. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to “eat medicine”, “open the television”, “close the lights off”, “take a beer”, “look upon everything” and tell someone to “follow with me” or “you needn’t to!” You start to say “for 2 years ago” and expressions like “Don’t panic” creep into your everyday language.
16. You associate pea soup with Thursday.
17. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no WALK symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.
18. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
19. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
20. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
21. “No comment” becomes a conversation strategy.
22. You have only two facial expressions – smiling or blank. Also your arms are just hanging down when you chat with other people.
23. The fact that all of the “v’s” and the “w’s” are together in the phone directory seems right.
24. Your old habit of being “fashionably late” is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
25. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay
26. You begin to understand Johan Tornberg’s broadcast of the hockey game.
27. You refuse to wear a hat, even in minus 20 degree weather.
28. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:> a: they are drunk> b: they are Finnish> c: they are American > d: all of the above
29. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
30. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
31. You eat herring in 105 ways.
32. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognise them as semi-formal wear.
33. Your front step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
34. You are no longer scared of Volvos and Volvo drivers
35. You have undergone a transformation
a: you accept blodkorv as food
b: you accept surströmming as food
c: you accept alcohol as food
d: you accept
36. You can actually drink the coffee.
37. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.
38. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with sandals.
39. Indoors you wear sandals with socks, regardless of the season.
40. You no longer correct people who say MAC Donald’s.
41. You just love Jaffa.
42. You’ve come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.
43. You know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed.
44. You enjoy the taste of surströmming and lutfisk.
45. You know that “men’s public bathroom” is another phrase for footpath.
46. You know that more than three channels means cable.
47. You get all the Finnish and Norwegians jokes.
48. When you’re hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.
49. You eat jam with savoury dishes
50. You’ve become lactose intolerant.
51. You accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
52. An outside temperature of 5 degrees C is mild.
53. It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000kr on alcohol in a single night
54. When someone asks for “three cheers” you say “hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah!”
55. You think that riding a bicycle in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.
56. You have conversations with people outside when it is –10C.
57. Having to book seat numbers at a cinema makes perfect sense. And you sit in your booked seat even if there are only 2 other people there and your seat is in the front row, on the side.
58. You regard it as sensible to eat ice cream when it is 15C.
59. You regard it as sensible that the ice cream van comes around playing that annoying song when it is -15C.
60. Someone calls you a “good moron” first thing in the morning and you smile acknowledgement.
61. It’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
62. Julmust starts to taste good.
63. You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to systembolaget.
64. You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of ‘cheap’ spirits at systembolaget
65. You know all of the “telephone times” by heart.
66. It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 25.
67. You actually care who wins ‘Expedition: Robinson’
68. You have your own innebandy club.
69. You find yourself debating the politics of the social democrats.
70. You use ‘mmmm’ as a conversation filler.
71. You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
72. You think it’s more fun to stay at home and drink then go out.
73. You wear warm clothing when it’s 25 degrees plus in April – because it’s April.
74. You wear shorts and t-shirt when it’s barely 10 degrees in July – because it’s July.
75. You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.
76. You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the work place.
77. Your wife watches TV while you look after the kids.
78. You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.
79. You spend the week’s entertainment budget on a pack of cigarettes and a drink in Gamla Stan.
80. When a stranger asks you a question in the streets, you think it’s normal to just keep walking, saying nothing.
81. You’ve been engaged for four years and don’t have any plans to get married.
82. Americans start to look entertaining, witty and fun, and you just want to go to the U.S.A., travelling across country on a greyhound, because it’s “romantic.”
83. You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.
84. You lose any artistic talent whatsoever.
85. You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a habitual criminal]
86. You jot down ‘fisk fingrar’ on your shopping list.
87. You no longer look for Vegemite on supermarket shelves, even if it’s your first time in that particular shop.
90. You think black rimmed glasses are cool. Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey.
89. You stop explaining to people what Christmas Crackers are and accept that they aren’t – at least in Sweden
88. You have an uncontrollable urge to mail this list and point out the numbering is incorrect!
91. It doesn’t feel like lunch unless it’s a hot, full course meal drenched in gravy.
92. You eat unlimited amounts of sausage products without worrying about your nitrate intake.
93. You think that an unripe wedge of tomato on a limp leaf of iceberg lettuce can be called a salad.
94. You don’t question the concept of ‘telephone time’. It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on Friday afternoons. [or the entire month of July]
95. You assume that anyone who apologises after bumping into you is a tourist.
96. You feel discomfort if you can’t find the nummerlap machine.
97. You reach for your pocket 20 times a day as mobile phones ring all around you.
98. You actually care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard – and so do your new Swedish friends.
99. It seems reasonable that even those begging for money at T-centralen reach for their pocket as the melodic music of the Swedish mobile phone resounds.
100. You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and think nothing of it
101. Paying $6 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.
102. You understand that when a colleague asks you out for “a drink,” it will probably be a long night with a severe hangover the next day.
103. You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a necessary part of daily life … and a necessary part of business.
104. You start to differentiate between types of snow.
105. You get offended if, at a dinner party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after raising their glass for a toast
106. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
107. You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.
108. “Candles” are a permanent fixture on your weekly shopping list.
109. You get to the movies early so that you can watch the commercials.
110. Most of your friends have the same names and you must use both names to distinguish between them.
111. You manage to convince yourself that you really enjoy eating potatoes, tuna, pasta and sausages and it’s not just because that’s all you can afford to eat here.
112. You accept you must walk 2 kilometres to collect your book/tape from the Post Office, because they don’t deliver small packages (or large ones)
113. You finally accept that the milkman isn’t going to roll up – ever- and you have to go out in the snow to the shop to buy your milk.
114. Your shed becomes the first stage in the recycling process and you can’t get in it for bags of paper/cardboard/bottles, refundable glass/plastic, recyclable glass/plastic/ containers/etc.
115. You accept that you will never again wear your beautiful stiletto heels because:> a: there’s snow everywhere and even if you did then,> b: you still have to take them off at the door which instantly ruins the hitherto glamorous line of whatever you were wearing as you drop, 10cm, onto your flat feet in your short and sexy little black dress. Not the same effect at all.
116. When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage.
117. You take every opportunity to raise an enormous flag in your garden.
118. You can’t contemplate actually doing anything until you’ve first had a ‘fika’ (with coffee AND cake).
119. You think it entirely reasonable to pay $40 for a five minute chat with the doctor.
120. You use the alcohol percentage-per-kroner standard for measuring the quality of beer and wine.
121. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.
122. You no longer snigger when your kids ask for a Plopp when you’re out shopping
123. You think it’s normal to park your car only on the right hand side of the street and are quite happy to move it elsewhere on Thursday evening because the street is being cleaned
124. You accept that you will get parking tickets regularly and stop caring that you have no idea what was wrong with your parking.
125. You don´t eat the jacket on your potato.
126. Nobody fights to get the “parsons nose”.
127. People keep showing you print outs of this list on the bus.
128. Hearing the words f*ck and shag on daytime TV seems perfectly normal.
129. You think Australia is wrong to drive on the left hand side of the road.
130. You mutter “oy,oy,oy” continually to yourself even though you are the only one in the room.
131. You understand why there is a Green, Red and Blue underground.
132. You understand why the underground does not only operate underground.
133. Even you can hear your own accent.
134. When someone asks you for “sex” you assume they mean half-a-dozen.
135. All winter you dream of what you will do in summer, and summer is the warmest day of the year
136. You wear a dress or skirt over your trousers and combine them with training shoes (this is especially problematic if you are male)
137. You expect to find the glove you dropped in February hanging on a post in June
138. Bringing dead sticks indoors at Easter and hanging coloured feathers on them seems a good way to celebrate spring.
139. Pigs say “nerf nerf”, frogs say “kvack, kvack” and roosters say “kuckeliku”
140. You immediately think that a bottle of wine contains 75cl, and a carton of cream is 3dl. And you can’t for the life of you remember just what 500ml is in dl or cl.
141. “It’s 5 degrees outside” does not necessarily mean PLUS 5, it could mean minus 5.
142. You talk of 10C as “10 degrees cold”, when in Australia +10C would be considered cold. And who else calls +1C, “one degree warm”!
143. You know that “Extrapris” goods are cheaper, even though your English mind translates the word as “extra price”
144. You will squeeze past somebody rather than say excuse me.
145. When returning to “civilisation” you hear yourself saying TACK all the time.
146. The first thing you do in the morning is to switch on your car heater.
147. Drinking spirits can only be accompanied by formal singing from song sheets and vice versa.
148. You accept that adverts for houses do not include the price of the house.
149. You accept that Job adverts do not include the salary scale.
150. A fun way for people to pass a wintry afternoon is to watch a Bandy match outdoors when it’s minus 20 degrees.
151. Everybody has an outdoor thermometer at home and they all compare temperatures when they get to work.
152. You start eating egg and bacon instead of bacon and eggs.
153. You ringed somebody yesterday instead of you rang them.
154. Your husband is very long instead of being very tall
155. You think coffee is supposed to look and taste like mud, complete with a mouthful of coffee ground sediment.
156. You pay the TV-avgift because you think you’re getting your money’s worth watching SVT.
157. You start looking at socialbidrag (welfare) less as an absolutely desperate last resort and more as a way of life.
158. You pour filmjölk (soured milk) on your Kellogg’s Frosties.
159. You put tomato sauce (as in Heinz Big Red) on your macaroni. Just tomato sauce. And love it.
160. Your preferred pancake topping is lingonsylt.
161. You begin thinking that you’re going to actually miss blood pudding for breakfast while you’re visiting Australia
162. You don’t want a cold glass of Coke with ice on hot summer days but rather a nice steaming cup of coffee.
163. You start to think that smoking is really not that bad, even for 13 year olds.
164. You stop searching for a T-Bone steak.
165. You start believing that good service is overrated.
166. You can’t remember the words to the theme of Gilligan’s Island.
167. You accept and take for granted that you will just have to suffer through a cold.
168. You take two hour naps at work and the idea of losing your job never crosses your mind.
169. You don’t even get surprised when the doctor, not only can’t help you, he/she can’t even diagnose you.
170. You take it as a given that your wife/husband will get so wasted on Midsommar that he/she will end up in bed with someone other than yourself.
171. You tailgate people who are driving 120 on the freeway.
172. You think Australian coffee tastes like water.
173. You don’t get disgusted by the little balls of discarded snus (chewing tobacco) at your feet at every bus stop.
174. You don’t even get disgusted by seeing people spit, constantly.
175. You start talking to yourself in Swedish.
176. You think nothing of spending all day at IKEA looking for a piece of furniture and then spending the whole next day putting it together.
177. You wonder how you ever lived with wall to wall carpeting
178. You take your shoes off when entering a house while visiting your family in Australia.
179. You can’t throw a plastic bottle away with out having a guilty conscience.
180. You think an hour and a half cycle on your washing machine is a “quick wash”.
181. You not only order a pizza with asparagus, banana and bernaise sauce on it, but you actually like it and wonder why they don’t offer it back in Australia.
182. You think of where you will be going in terms of the shoes that you will wear. Your favourite pair of “Barbie” shoes keep getting buried further and further back in the wardrobe.
183. You find yourself munching on Kalles Kaviar and hårdbröd at 3 A.M.
184. You get used to hotdogs being called sausage and you eat them as the “meat” part of a meal without a bun.
185. You find yourself wobbling home from the pub on your bicycle.
186. You know how to take care of a toddler, a pram with baby, a shopping trolley (that needs to be returned for the coin), paying for and bagging all your own groceries, without ever once expecting anyone to offer to help you.
187. You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free shopping bag.
188. You think horse meat is a totally acceptable sandwich topping.
189. You think there is nothing wrong with planning Christmas around Kalle Anka (Donald Duck).
190. You don’t even think about what you are saying when you are off to the shop to buy your favourite brand of cat food, and you say, “Be right back love, I’m just gonna go get some Pussi”
191. You start calling Coke “cola”.
192. You get up for a cigarette at 2 AM in July and put on your sunglasses first.
193. You have 53 different recipes for strömming and you’re about ready to clip number 54 from Dagens Nyheter.
194. You start thinking dance bands and Tom Jones are kind of cool.
195. You think that people who wear other colours apart from black, grey, white or blue are exhibitionists.
196. You start to miss falukorv when you go on vacation
197. You know the words to more than one ’snapsvisa’ and sing them without difficulty.
198. You can deal with the idea that the week starts on Monday.
199. You would never ever even consider using a metal knife on the butter.
200. You are no longer offended by the fact that you are a Swedish size XL when at “home” you are a medium.
201. “Godis” and “glass” become daily necessities.
202. When visiting others you try to go in first. If it’s locked THEN you ring the doorbell.
203. While visiting England someone gives you directions and says, “It’s about 5 miles down the road.” You in turn ask, “Are you talking Swedish miles or English miles?”
204. You start spelling the days of the week in lowercase! monday, tuesday….
205. You find that you can’t spell in English anymore. You now replace C with K. Like panik, automatik, seasik, arithmetik…. and you try to remember does papper/paper have one or two p’s in English?
206. You no longer make appointments, but instead you book times.
207. You read text instead of sub-titles.
208. As a student, you accept and even enjoy getting dressed in formal wear to go to a candle-lit 3 course dinner where you will alternately bang on your table and stand on your chair singing songs in praise of alcohol each and every time you attempt to raise your fork to your mouth.
209. You have an Åhlgrens “Bilar” addiction.
210. You know all the Fanta and Marabou flavours.
211. You think that the 25kr ICA bonus cheque is generous after spending 2500kr in their shop.
212. The words “typ” and “liksom” are part of you spoken English vocabulary.
213. If a friend says that he/she would like to get together with you, you instinctively reach for your pocket calendar.
214. You own a pocket calendar.
215. You begin to understand Danish.
216. It seems normal to you that you’ve been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there.
217. You can identify the people on Big Brother and Expedition Robinson.
218. You plan to watch “kvinnofängelset” (Prisoner) the next day because you need to know what happens.
219. You can name the toppings of at least ten different pizzas just by name (which is coincidentally more than the pizza-baker can himself)
220. You accept that you will never get what you ordered at Burger King.
221. Not only do you not mind, but even expect to wait ten minutes for a Big Mac at McDonald’s.
222. You ask for a Big Mac and company outside of Sweden.
223. Trousers/pants tucked into all shoes, including low-top sneakers, seem like reasonable fashion sense.
224. Someone cuts you off on the freeway and instead of giving them the finger, you simply mumble “eedeeyout” under your breath.
225. You even lock your car to take a pee on the side of the road.
226. You no longer think it odd that you talk to your kids in English and they answer in Swedish.
227. You sit and pretend that Ice Hockey is a great substitute for footy.
228. You use your Swedish Lexicon to look up all the English words you’ve forgotten.
229. You say “I’m almost annoyed” when you’re as furious as humanly possible.
230. You find it completely natural that otherwise sensible people dress up in silly hats on several occasions during August while they’re eating crayfish and drinking as much vodka as they can.
231. Christmas has changed so much that you only associate it with rice porridge and Donald Duck.
232. You don’t think twice about calling someone in the next room using your mobile phone.
233. People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.
234. You have no idea what “The X-files” is but you watch “Arkiv X” as soon as it’s on TV.
235. It’s normal for a post office to be located inside the local store, where no one can help you.
236. A 25 % sales tax on just about everything is no big deal.
237. VD is the boss, not something you need to get medical treatment for.
238. You know the names of at least three different types of sill (pickled herring).
239. Opening your Christmas presents on the 24th of December no longer seems like cheating.
240. You can use bra, fart, and slut in the same sentence without giggling.
241. You go on a package holiday to Greece and never leave the hotel complex.
242. You refer to weeks by their number.
243. You carefully dissect the restaurant bill so you know to the exact kr. how much everybody owes.
244. You know the catalogue numbers of all of your favourite wines at Systembolaget.
245. It’s May. It’s 15C degrees. And you’re stretched out on your balcony in your bikini trying to get a head start on your tan.
246. You don’t understand why your friend from Mississipi took offence when you referred to him as a yankee.
247. You no longer laugh hysterically when you hear a sappy love ballad being called a “butter song”.
248. England, Scotland and Wales can all be called England.
249. You’ve come to accept that customer service departments don’t do anything to help customers.
250. If you meet someone you haven’t seen in ages you just stay right where you are chatting away even if that happens to be in the doorway of a very busy department store.
251. You think the songs played at “The Eurovision song contest” are instant hits.
252. Christmas presents are opened somewhere between Donald Duck and “Karl-Bertil Jonsson” on Christmas Eve. Whoever heard of doing it the morning of Christmas Day?
253. If no TV station airs “Ivanhoe” on Christmas Day you become extremely irritated.
254. You just have to watch “Grevinnan och betjänten” on New Years Eve.
255. You don’t find it strange that they add tax on top of the taxes.
256. It’s perfectly normal to hear teenage girls say “cunt” as a swear word.
257. You no longer find it hypocritical to hear people bashing Australian culture in one sentence and in the next hear them saying that they’ve always wanted to go to Australia.
258. Food is supposed to often be white in colour.
259. You’re no longer repulsed by the idea of eating pölsa or isterband.
260. You find it reasonable that reviews of non-Swedish movies with a Swedish actor in them should use at least half of the space available to discuss how good or bad the actor was in it, even if he had just one line.
261. You understand the jokes in “Pistvakt”.
262. You watched “The Phantom Menace” and “Attack of the Clones” just to see Pernilla August.
263. It’s normal to have an entire pizza just for yourself.
264. You have learned how to schedule your bouts of illness so you don’t get sick on weekends. Because if you do get sick on a weekend you have a hard time getting to see a doctor and you’ve wasted a weekend. It’s much better to be sick on a Monday so you can call in sick. That way you can extend your weekend!
265. You don’t get surprised when kids come trick-or-treating during Easter, all dressed up like witches.
266. You don’t find it odd to find movies with a “translated” title. It’s perfectly normal for a movie to get a completely different English title than the one it has in the rest of the world.
267. You sing bawdy drinking songs instead of Christmas carols.
268. The first light of understanding in your child’s eyes is when he bangs his little cup against something and says, “ska!”.
269. You use the word “or” as a question.
270. You consider 11 the standard age for no longer riding in a stroller.
271. You are concerned when the picture on the front page of the paper is not of some completely random person watering their garden or of a child holding an animal.
272. You think it’s normal that people take shoes in a bag to the theatre
273. You start using “rather” as your most common adjective in English
274. You stop thinking you’re being yelled at every time you hear “Hey!”
275. You no longer expect to just “call in” unexpectedly on a friend.
276. You no longer feel it’s unbearable inside an over-heated shop wearing full winter gear.
277. You no longer look for toilets marked specifically male or female
278. You remember to buy the weekend grog supply before 5.00pm on Friday
279. It is your birthday YOU have to make the cake
280. You know you have to hurry home to stop the ice cream from getting too hard.
281. You start collecting travel brochures and talking of trips to tacky places like Gran Canaria just for a fix of sun.
282. You agree to pay 500kr for a basic hair trim.
283. You accept that fruit juice is always made from concentrate.
284. The most interesting report on the news is the weather.
285. You start to believe that everything in Sweden is actually good.
286. When you say good bye to someone you depart by saying ‘Have it so good’
287. When you make a mistake or an accident happens you say ‘It was not the meaning’.
288. You don’t blink an eye at the cloak room size at the pub with all the boots and stuff in there, despite the fact that it may be 3 levels high and cost 5 bucks – making a pub crawl definitely out of the question sometimes.
289. You get annoyed when you realise you have to say “not too much and not too little” instead of “lagom”.
290. You either run for the last pendeltåg at 1 am or choose to party on until 5 am when they start again rather than endure the horrific night bus home, as a taxi ride would require taking out a 2nd mortgage.
291. When you arrive at a destination you immediately scan for the nearest free toilet or private hide away – crikey even Mack – Donalds is off limits.
292. You find yourself eating bay-con for breakfast and talking about Bill Clin-ton and taking a trip to Lon-don.
293. Anything good and in particular food is “giant good”.
294. ICA is not I.C.A – it’s eeka.
295. The wash cottage is not a holiday resort but a very competitive environment,
where the rules should never be broken and in particular never go over your time by even a minute or you risk a lot of sucking and muttering from the next in line.
296. A recipe for drugs is not instructions on how to make them.
297. Gift is not a present but it could be dangerous (whether it is poison or marriage)
298. Using a shovel when you are cooking is perfectly normal
299. A dime is yummy not currency
300. Sambo is not a racist remark
301. When talking about centuries the Swedes all seem to be a hundred years behind.
302. When a Swede realises that you are an Aussie, you immediately rattle off the facts about sharks, spiders, snakes and other creepy crawlies just to get it out of the way.
303. You know what ‘What seventeen’ means.
304. Swedes saying Va’ to you is still annoying (even after ten years), not to mention that there is no real word for please, or?
305. You think that reading this list is one of the most exciting things you have done for ages.
306. You know that “fan” is a swearword, and not an admirer or an air conditioner.
307. You eat pizza with a knife and fork.
308. You only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol.
309. All of your conversations resemble a chess game, with each participant quietly and patiently awaiting the other to finish their turn.
310. You’ve owned more than one Volvo.
311. You accept that any bureaucratic employee is incapable of a single autonomous thought and that anything, regardless of how ludicrous, is law once committed to paper.
312. You no longer find this list funny, just painfully true.
313. You know the names of two or more Swedish ministers.
314. You get excited when you hear someone speaking English.
315. You travel north on vacation instead of south.
316. You start to mix up your c’s and k’s when writing in English.
317. Even the 140kg amateur body-builder uses the handicapped door-opener instead of “straining” himself and you think nothing of it. In fact, you do it yourself.
318. You take off your shoes when entering someone’s house outside of
319. A seven-year-old with his own mobile phone seems perfectly sensible.
320. You no longer eat yoghurt, you drink it.
321. You know the Swedish national anthem better than your own.
322. The inescapable stench of Mamma Scans’ meatballs on your fingers, which CANNOT BE WASHED OUT, no longer disgusts you.
323. You put both jam and cheese on toast and call it breakfast.
324. You were excited when Kalles Kaviar released “Kalles Randiga”.
325. You eat caviar from a tube.
326. The only pasta that you eat takes 3 minutes to prepare and is inedible unless drenched in ketchup.
327. Three for the price of two is the deal of a lifetime, regardless of what it is. Even 3 for the price of 2 1/2 surprises you.
328. You use a coupon to save 5 kronor on something that costs over 100 kronor.
329. Your wallet contains more plastic than a
330. Christmas is more intimately tied to “Kalle Anka” than to Santa Claus
331. You can tell the difference between the different radio stations.
332. You make liberal use of compound words never heard of by Webster or Roget.
333. You actually pay an annual television fee without feeling infringed.
334. You actually pay an annual television fee.
335. The idiots in all your jokes are Norwegian.
336. You tease people from Skåne about their “Swedish”.
337. In chess, you refer to the knight as a horse, the rook as a tower, and the pawns as farmers or peasants.
338. At Easter, pre-adolescent boys dressing up as old women isn’t a sign of a developing psychosis, it’s just part of the festivities (although it may explain a few things down the line)
339. You feel a certain sense of pride when you see Swedish people in films or on foreign TV shows.
340. Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol.
341. You aimlessly chat using SMS.
342. A “big strong one” is a beer.
343. When someone says “Cheers” you look at everyone in turn before drinking.
344. You know that going for a coffee is a first date.
345. When someone asks you “Hi, how are you?” you actually take time out to explain how you are.
346. You automatically try to dress the same as everyone else.
347. You know the words to the frog song.
348. When you stop converting Swedish crowns into your native currency.
349. You are no longer surprised when you see full-frontal male nudity in a commercial or on TV.
350. You make fun of tourists.
351. You can pick out the real blondes from the fake blondes.>
352. You get used to seeing dogs tied up outside of supermarkets and you stop to pat them.
353. You learn to let the BMW’s, Audi’s, and Mercedes do whatever they want.>
354. Paying $3,000 for a dog seems normal.
355. And paying $800,000 for a 3 room (living room, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen) house in a suburb of Stockholm seems cheap.>
356. You accept that you pay bills at the post office, pick up packages from the grocery store, and you have to drive 5 miles to find a postbox to put your outgoing mail in.
357. You enjoy that postcards are the means of communication.
358. It seems sensible that you need to be at least 25 to buy a bottle of red wine.
359. You don’t think twice when you hear “Shake it out”. You just check it
360. When you are terrified of meeting you neighbour in the stairwell.
361. When you see that the time is 3.30 and you say it’s “half TO four” (halv fyra)
362. You can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.
363. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
364. The only thing in your quick memory is “Hej” and “Hej Hej”
365. You think Sweden is big (because you always compare it to Finland, Norway or Iceland)
366. You think is perfectly normal that people get in to nightclubs/restaurants with innerbandy stick and shopping bags.
367. You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or tunnelbana.
368. You accept that people talk to you only when they are really drunk.
369. You accept that the best answer for a question is always “Jag vet inte” meaning “I don’t know”.
370. It’s acceptable that you don’t have the same rights as Swedes to buy a mobile phone, rent an exclusive apartment in Gamla Stan, or to make a reservation by phone to a restaurant.
371. You accept the fact that to rent an apartment you have to wait in the queue for 5 years.
372. Pronouncing Euro as “Evro” makes sense.
373. You never get sick of meatballs and/or falukorv, cooked any style.
374. You’re complaining in January not because it’s minus 10 degrees, but because there’s no snow.
375. Your house is starting to look like the showcase to IKEA.
385. Sunbathing while there is still snow lying is normal.
386. A disabled toilet is on the 2nd floor of the gym.>
387. You’re disappointed when your Curry/Chinese food isn’t served with salad.>
388. Despite explaining that mince pies at Christmas contain dried fruit, they are still looked upon with suspicion.
389. When you think it’s perfectly normal to leave all the manufacturers’ stickers on all of your glass ware.
390. When you reply ‘Yes, thank you’ when people ask you how you are. (Hur är det? Jo tack.)
391. You understand that yiros (kebab meat) is not only found on a roll but also on a pizza too.
392. You always wait until you are actually driving before putting on your seatbelt.
393. You think Sweden is big (because you compare it to Finland and Norway).
394.When someone asks for a cup of tea, you give them a cup of lukewarm water and a selection of teabags.
396. You accept that people talk to you only when they are drunk.
397. You recognise the taste of surströmming right away.
398. You randomly begin sentences with the catchphrase “You know you have been in Sweden too long when…”
399. You start thinking about the weekend on Wednesday morning.
400. You automatically line up the barcodes on all your groceries at the supermarket checkout.
401.You’re used to see horses everywhere, and constantly step in their “heaps”.
402. You’re used to seeing dog owners picking up the dogs’ heaps in little black plastic bags.
403. You think it’s perfectly OK to wash your car just once a year – the day before the summer holiday drive.
404. You start thinking about buying a boat.
405. Your kid can use a pacifier until he/she starts school.
406. You’re not surprised anymore when hearing about an old petrol station being turned into a mosque.
407. You know that twenty hundred is a year, not an hour.
408. YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIVE ANYWHERE BUT IN SWEDEN !!!!
April 19th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
hey swedenson. I commented on october 25th, 2009, and want to thank you for your reply. I know it’s been a long time, but I never thought I would be accepted at Stockholm School of Economics for a masters degree, so stopped checking your site for several months. Fast forward, and I was accepted to the program and will move to Stockholm in August.
Since I know the school is really prestigious, I was thinking about the possibility of getting a good job upon graduation. I want to get into management consulting (McKinsey, BCG, Bain) but as of now, do not speak a word of swedish. Since I assume the language is a must, do I have enough time to learn swedish? Or should I just give up on the idea of working there? any answers will be appreciated. thanks a bunch.
April 19th, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Hello again JM,
Congratulations on your acceptance to SSE!
Its a great school and very highly regarded. I don’t know if I have much to add from what I said previously. And I’m probably not the best person to ask anyway. I was only there for a few months in the winter, and it has been a few years now since I was there. I did not take part in the SSE recruiting cycle because I planned to work in the U.S. So I really have nothing to say about the job search prospects if you don’t speak Swedish. I am an optimistic person by nature, and I wanted badly to enjoy my time there, but unfortunately I left with a sour taste in my mouth. Hopefully it will work out for you.
Maybe someone else that is visiting this page can comment to help JM?
As I mentioned before, I think you will have a much better time than I did if you plan on being there for an extended period of time. Many people posting comments on this site have remarked that it just takes some time for Swedes to gain comfort with new newcomers like ourselves. I am sure that will be the case with you.
Best of luck to you and enjoy the warm weather of Stockholm while you have it!
April 20th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Thanks man.
The people and the weather will be big challenges though. I’m used to friendly and outgoing people and nice weather in the San Diego (United States) region. It will be an interesting experience to say the least.
April 25th, 2010 at 8:57 am
I’ve been living in Sweden on and off for 15 years and am married to a Swede. Even my Swedish wife agrees that her countrymen are, in general, about the rudest, lowest class folks on the planet. I completely ruined her when we moved to the US for two years. She made me promise a week after we arrived back in Sweden that the next move to the US would be permanent.
And I don’t think the US is a perfect place. We certainly have our share of jerks. But they are far and few between compared to Sweden. In Sweden I reckon three of five folks are rude to downright ghastly.
The end result is really only bad for Swedes. The rest of us can just leave this unhappy little country for better places. But the Swedes are stuck here and stuck with each other. Which is a fate I think they well deserve!
May 7th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Swedes think they’re good looking. Since I arrived here from NYC some 8 years ago, I can count good looking Swedes on one hand! That’s how few they are! I think most Swedes are quite ugly as a matter of fact. And they dress terribly! They’re probably among the worst dressers in the world. So it’s so annoying that they think they’re all that when they’re absolutely not. Most of their “blond” women dye their hair blond! So that’s also a myth. And yes indeed – they’re very rude! “Excuse me” doesn’t seem to exist in their dictionaries! And I also find them very immature, childish, boring, pale, uninteresting and weird. Looking on the bright side, there are a lot of good Swedes as well, but overall they suck. I would go crazy living here – I would probably go alcoholic like so many Swedes have.
May 8th, 2010 at 7:14 am
Hej everyone! I’ve been living and working in Stockholm for more than a year now. I’ve come to like many of my coworkers a lot, but I’ve yet to solidify any real friendships. That’s the Swedish way. It takes time. I think there is a major difference between Swedish work life and personal life. The trouble for Americans is that being naturally outgoing, joking, and open about things will not really go over well with the Swedes. They just don’t seem to know what to make of it. It kind of freaks them out.
Like a few others who have posted, I have run into trouble with some two-faced behavior. They will say nothing to your face, but they will sometimes rip you to shreds behind your back. As an American I find that behavior just rotten and unethical. It would get you socially blackballed or even fired in an American company. Here, it seems like the normal way of doing things. I’m beginning to get it, but I really don’t want to accept it. I really think it sucks. Unfortunately, I even find it even in one Swede who has lived in America and should know better. She’s actually the worst. It’s almost as if she is deliberately trying to be more “Swedish” than the rest because she didn’t much like the US. This is the one major flaw I find in Stockholm. (Well, like someone else said, most of the neighborhoods outside the city center are just plain horrible. But thats another matter.)
I think I might like things better in Gothenburg.
May 12th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Hi everyone, i do think that swedes are a little closed (when it comes to get to know them, but once u know them, u realize that they are very nice peopl ,my boyfriend is swedish, im from mexico and i gotta tell you that reading all these negatives comments freaks me a little bit, maybe i was too lucky and met the only sweet guy in sweden hehe and yeah he is not gentleman at all and gotta tell you that mexican girls are used to have gentleman boyfriends but he has some other things than mexican guys dont have….the bottom line is that we cannot make everyone happy, we all are different, different cultures, backgrounds, customs etc, c’mon there are rude and nice people everywhere!!
May 13th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Hello, I am the one who wrote the essay that John Kulp was referring to above. I am a Swede who has been living in the US for many years. My wife is American and I like it here and I am hoping to become an American citizen. This blog/thread bothers me a little so I decided to leave a comment.
First, let me say I am very sorry that you had such a bad time in Sweden.
Secondly, let me say that Americans are my favorite people. Americans are overall friendly, polite, dynamic, and creative. Americans are often independent and courageous thinkers, and they have a sense of moral responsibility that is lacking in much of the world. So Kudos to Americans. I mean that!
Thirdly some of the Swedes leaving nasty comments here as well as the Swedish Nazi (sort of) in the other thread do not make a great impression. On the other hand a thread like this will bring out the trolls.
However, it is also true that cultural differences can cause friction and you need to make an effort to tolerate the culture where you are going, especially considering that you are the visitor. Why Swede’s don’t say excuse me or how are you doing as much is because that cultural norm works just fine in Sweden. If Swede’s don’t need it you should try to get used to it and accept it and adjust your behavior (unless it goes too far). Practice bumping into some people without worrying about the excuse me. I had to learn to “talk my self up” and be pushier in the US which I considered impolite based on Swedish norms.
I can add that I know a lot of Americans who have lived in Sweden or stayed in Sweden for extended periods of time without ending up feeling the same way.
About the “talking ill behnind your back” issue. This is something that unfortunately happens in Sweden and some Americans are victims of this. I admit that I have done it myself in the past to some degree. However, after living a few years in the US I stopped doing it. The funny thing is that the people (including me) who did it, did not mean that much with it. It is a childish Swedish habit based on insecurity which Swede’s themselves are also victims of. Instead of confronting someone about a problem you put up a face and talk behind their back. It is a conflict avoiding behavior with much worse consequences than the confrontation could have had. Swede’s have not been raised to understand how wrong this habit is. By the way this also happens in the US but perhaps to a lesser extent.
So try to give people a little slack even though it seems bad. However, it is possible to deal with it by confronting the “offender” in private without putting him/her on the spot and without showing aggression.
Thomas
May 28th, 2010 at 10:25 am
I moved to Stockholm 5 months ago from the US and cannot wait to move back. Swedes are the rudest people I’ve ever encountered and I’m fairly well traveled. I’ve lived in New York for the last 4 years and I even find people more pleasant than people here! I don’t buy that being rude is ‘part of the culture’. That’s simply BS. They stare relentlessly at you, shove, push you, cut in line, pretend not to see you when they knock you down… What a miserable, sad lot these people are!
May 28th, 2010 at 10:29 am
One more thing…Swedes are NOT good looking people! Just looking at them on the train everyone looks so tired, miserable and worn out. Young girls spackle orange makeup on they’re faces and dress so trashly and terrible. At least Oompa Loompas are cute, these girls are not!
May 31st, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Hi everyone!
Im a Swede living with my American girlfriend (she’s from NY) in the south of Sweden. I would like to emphasize a little on what Thomas said on cultural friction. A lot of Swedes I know have sadly already made up their minds about Americans being loud, obnoxiuos and arrogant. Someone above said that in Sweden one would have to work a little harder to get to know people. Since the recently mentioned opinion about Americans is pretty well-spread among Swedes (I think) I think Americans have to work a little harder. This is of course unfortunate. I myself had a problem with that, sometimes getting annoyed at the fact that Americans always were so abbrasive and clumsy (according to me) in social situations. I used to think that Americans just talked and talked; just a bunch of standardized polite phrases and long time practised social behaviour that they would call “being open”. But after knowing some Americans for a longer time I became aware of my own peculiar habits in social situations and loosened my opinions quite a bit. Now I really dont mind either sides. In fact it can be really nice to be a little more talkative to people around you, although Im still struggling to get over the feeling that it just sometimes feels like empty pleasantries (I know thats just me, but Im getting better at it). However I still dont like being bugged by shop assistants!
As far as Swedish humor goes, I really understand that a lot of people have hard time understanding it, often mistaking sarcasm for outright insults. However I think is wrong to assume that that kind of humor is rude just because one cannot pick up change in tone or understand the context. This particular part it took my girlfriend a long time to get used to, and I understand her!
And to all you people talking about that being rude is part of our culture, I wish you could be a little bit more open-minded. What you would consider rude perhaps, but bear in mind it might not be considered rude to our customs, e.g. discussing our personal life in business relations (it would be considered unproffesional).
June 2nd, 2010 at 4:10 am
I am a Canadian living in Sweden. I must say you are complaining about life here in Sweden when you actually didn’t even experience Swedish living. What you are discussing seems like a long extended bad vacation. Not once in your bashing words did you mention how it was in the typical Swedish home. Well other than take your shoes off at the door.
Sweden isn’t about bright lights and glamorous lifestyles. It is about healthy living, education and family traditions. It seems to me like your stay wasn’t about those things at all. It seems your stay was about being a snot nosed student that wants’ to get lucky on a night out on the town. I guess because of your business ethics and statics you were in the class that didn’t get any? (just an observation) I am sorry that your mentality was so short that you didn’t get to experience what Sweden has to offer. Even in the cold, wet, drizzly, dark winters.
You were living in an upper class city setting. That is actually quite rare in Sweden over all. Also the people you are generally referring to are young students. Who are trying to find excitement just like yourself. Most young adults with a few drinks in them become annoying and irritable. But I guess you are American and prefer that they smile and say “Hi, How are you? Then come back later with a few guns and do a drive by shooting! (no offense to americans I was just stating a stereotype)
I don’t know about any other person here but I find that Swedes in general have to do a lot of waiting for service. Most places you pick a number and wait for your number to be called. Just common sense if you ask me. I know that in Stockholm the Tunnelbana can be rather hectic during the rush times. But I find it quite mild compared to New York City or Toronto for that matter.
As for your tomato story. Sounds like that little girl and her mom had a very rough moment. I have to ask though… Did you help them gather those tomatoes? Because you failed to mention in your bashing that you put on your cape and came to their rescue. I admit that living in Sweden has it’s moments where I wish that people would be more courteous. But for the most part swedes just don’t want to embarrass each other. They want to think of it as not a big deal. But you can continue to cry over spilt milk (or in this case tomato sauce)
Just in case you are actually considering Sweden to live. Especially if you are from North America. It is different. Here in Sweden your health comes before the dollars. Your family comes before your work schedule. If you are sick you take the time off. Oh and the most horrible thing… You get five weeks off of work a year sometimes longer if you are that unfortunate.
But really, The best thing about Sweden is the family lifestyle. Their traditions are simple but worth more than any ticket to an amusement park in the world. They enjoy their “Fika” times and they enjoy being with one another. They enjoy the summer months by soaking in the sun and reading a book. When the sun goes down in the winter; They ski, travel but mostly they are at home spending time with their families. Lighting up their windows with their non-tacky christmas lights, and enjoying every moment!
If you are coming to Sweden for a vacation, try to come between May and September. I assure you, you will love the flowers and nature. The water fronts and the archipelago. If you are here for mid summer you will see some of the most wonderful Swedish traditions of music, dance, and yes even Swedes laughing and enjoying each others company. If you having a real good time dancing around that Maypole you might want to join in on the Surströmming and snaps tradition. Trust me you will never be the same again! hehe
July 8th, 2010 at 10:51 am
Yes, most (99%) Swedish people are!!! very rude. And although quite good looking, the first good impression only lasts until they open their mouths. Low IQ never made anyone attractive.
August 1st, 2010 at 5:46 am
Hi there….
I’m born and bred in Stockholm, Sweden, and it pains me to admit that Swedes, and especially Stockholmites, are rude, cold, arrogant, self-loathing and actually kind small-minded, and is if that was not enough they’re (…we’re…) completely oblivious about it, me included, until I met my fiancé, who’s American/West Coast; during her second stay here she acknowledged that people stared at her without shame, that people just barged into the bus and subway car before letting people off, not holding up the door for old people and strollers etc. And people never, or very rarely say “ursäkta” or “sorry” when behaving like that. This fact, that we ARE rude, harsh and cold, is very hard for each and everyone of us Swedes to accept because we don’t perceive ourselves as rude etc., on the contrary – we think of ourselves as polite, respectful and very progressive no matter what it’s about. We’re so far up our own asses that we can’t even tell how bad it is here even when we travel elsewhere/abroad – we’re ALWAYS better than everybody else; more educated, progressive, advanced… – that’s how blinded we are.
Sweden used to be impressive though, but not anymore. We don’t know on which foot to stand on and the image we have about our beloved, and always heckled, country doesn’t match reality at all – “we’re living on old merits” so to speak. We’re lagging behind and we’re getting americanized (and if I might add, in a quite non-American way – more about that later), which is quite ironic since we don’t think much of the Empire of Uncle Sam – the place we love to hate and hate to love.
We’re just a tiny desolate nation in the far north with the hubris of Napoleon (”Stockholm -the Capital of Scandinavia” …jo ja tackar ja!), when in reality we’ve become a big scam, a joke – a big fat sad joke, cold and without a pun.
I used to come up with excuses to my fiancé about why Swedes behave the way they/we do and why things are the way they are here, but once she moved here, less than a year ago, it became obviously and painfully clear that Swedes are just a low-class people without manners. Sweden is expensive (food, drinks etc.), and most of our services (both private and public) are sloppy and not that well-managed, people throw trash everywhere, no moral courage (except for a few brave immigrants who show the decency to check if people are ok when passing out on the subway or interrupting battery), dysfunctional family relations, yada yada… People always whine and are usually lazy or don’t care. The only ones that are treated well are the kids – they’re a little too well-treated and well-pampered since stroller is king. I’m dreading on what Sweden will look like in 15 to 30 years from now when all those spoiled little snotty creeps grow up and run this country. R.I.P. Svedala!
I could go on and on and on and on… it hurts since I still, despite it all, love this country. I think we got a lot of things straight, but the problem is that we don’t take care of what we got since we’re spoiled brats. But we should beware because things are getting a little run-down here, and we’re losing ourselves, and the worst thing is that I don’t think we really care. Lazy, cold, oblivious and limp. And then, when we do get a little involved in the fellow man and the rest of the world, which we actually are a part of (no matter how small and insignificant we really are), we blame it on the EU, we blame it on social-liberalism and socialism, we blame it on the USA, we blame it on immigrants and Islam, while we’re beating our own drum as loud as possible – BOOM BOOM BA-DOOM ABBA FIKA-BOOM IKEA-BADOOM! It’s embarrassing.
My fiancé hates it here and she has been homesick every hour every day ever since she came here (no pickled herring, Midsommardans, archipelago cruise, crayfish party, Svensk progg or Stureplansstekande in the world can change taht). I believed in the Legend of Sweden which resulted in us moving here instead of Northern California, which was and is the worst decision of our lives. Moving back (over there) is the only thing on our minds. Sahlin and Reinfeldt, and their lackies, can all go and screw themselves, together with Jimmie Eriksson (who’s “lovely” party most likely will make it this election) & Co.
I’m in no way idolizing America – they have a LOT of serious flaws – but at least Americans are, in general, a friendly, fun, hospitable, simple-minded and warm hearted people. Being ignorant, bragging and fake are two of the major flawed traits we self-righteously apply to the poor yanks, but right now I prefer that (i.e. friendliness, hospitality, simple-mindedness etc.) over arrogance, self-loathing and rudeness …any time any day.
August 4th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
Wow, I just found this website after googling swedes are assholes after my search for Swedish Sociopaths failed to pull up what I was looking for. Wow, really, I have to say that I have now met, known, worked, and lived with no less than 15 Swedes, male and female, ranging in ages from 22 to 69 (and the 69 year old woman was the worst) and they are *all* total face-saving, manipulative, back-stabbing, bullying, blame shifting, arrogant AND totally hypocritical (yeah, yeah, they want nothing to do with that “drug denizen”, but then you find them on the back porch lighting up a big fat doobie) (I wish I had that one on film, but I didn´t have the videocam set up), GASLIGHTING (I didn´t even know what that was until I experienced on personal level, 15 times over, and finally read the book) I am starting to believe these people´s brains really *are* different. Seriously. It is a sociopathic culture, for sure. But I am beginning to believe these people´s flesh and blood, brain, brains…have evolved differently. Sociopaths only experience four emotions: fear, anxiety, inferiority, superiority…that´s it. Sounds like your average Scandinavian to me. Just think along those lines when you are dealing with Swedes. You might come across an oddly empathetic, compassionate Swede, and if you do, it is probably due to a recessive gene (which they thought they had effectively swept under the rug…whoops!), in an otherwise, homogoneous, gene pool…or should I say, Viking cesspool. Or a complete and total facade. (just wait or dig in a little deeper) (you would be surprised at what happens behind closed doors) These are some of the nastiest people you could ever meet. I start and end my day, by Googling HOW TO DEAL WITH A SOCIOPATH…in order to get a better understanding as to how these people work. I used to be a multi-culturally sensitive person. In fact, I have dedicated my life to multicultural sensitivity and understanding (I am blonde-haired blue-eyed Finnish American expat ESL teacher living in Barcelona). But after being burned 15 times out of 15, why, that´s 100%!) in the same, most peculiar way, I am burning and bitter. I will still talk to strangers, but if the stranger is a Swede, forget it. Danes and Norwegians are also highly suspicious.
August 6th, 2010 at 2:51 am
Dear foreigner. Hello and welcome to SWEDEN.
To help you survive (at best, that’s about all you’II be doing), here’s a few things you should know about Sweden:
As humans evolved, something went awfully wrong in northern Europe. To be specific, the gene which regulates normal social functioning and emotional expression underwent a dramatic mutation in Sweden. Consequently you will be in breech of a fundamental societal rule if you acknowledge the existence of another human in any context. Facial non-expression is especially important in Sweden. Your mouth should be in a permanent inverted U position (particularly if you are a female over 35). Learn to walk around with a blank look on your face – to achieve this, try to really believe that you will live forever and that each day is a total drag.
Now, all this can take a while to get used to. Some people crack and leave, others enter a long term dysthymia; but the good new is, the choice is yours! You may consider consulting a doctor, but you will need a person number and appointments can only be made between 7:15 and 7:30am. Outside this 15 minute window, there’s always the Solna freeway if you’re looking for a quick exit. Nobody will notice or react.
Adequate housing is a fundamental human right, and Sweden acknowledges this with affirmative social policies. In practice, however, if you need accommodation, there are queues. Take a ticket, stand in line for 5 years, and if you’re lucky you will be invited to rent a 20 square meter shoebox. In the meantime, there’s always BLOCKED (also known as BLOCKET), where you can plead with an Iranian to rent a 20 square meter apartment on a 4th hand contract in Upplands Väsby for two months at a time.
Finally, you might be considering a relationship here. Sweden is full of young hot women! You can see them swanning about on trains and busses, or in bars and trendy Stockholm clubs. Sadly, they aren’t real. Even see the film Blade Runner? Remember the replicants? Well, they mutated here in Sweden. Beautiful but soulless robots. If you do start a relationship with one, be warned: their DNA self-implodes around 30 and they metamorphosise into wrinkled spectacle-wearing prunes with short haircuts.
Good luck and welcome to Sweden!
August 6th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
It’s good to see that the losers are still posting away here, having no social skills or maturity to have any relationship at all with a Swedish female so they make up any nonsense to put the blame on the Swedes–who by the way–are nothing like the descriptions being blathered here. Add to that a self-loathing Swede or two who has the same problem, and you have as misleading and stupid a view of Sweden anyone could ever want.
August 10th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
@JOHN KULP
Hi John – interesting perspective….
I have lived in Sweden for 3 years and during that time have been out with girls from Germany, Iceland, Poland and Canada. But not Sweden. And it sure ísn’t because I have poor social (or other) skills. Young Swedish women are not capable of socialising with strangers unless they are drunk. It’s pathetic and that is THEIR problem! It really says something about Swedish social culture.
But let’s face it, it’s not just the women, ITS EVERYONE! Frankly, I’ve never felt so ignored and invisible in my life! And I don’t expect much…I really don’t. Just the odd facial expression to acknowledge my existence would do, but even that seems too hard for most Swedes.
Sweden may have its good points (though I can’t think of any off hand), but Ive had enough and will leave soon. Three years here is enough. I’ve made many good foreign friends, but not one Swede. Why tolerate this place when I can choose to live in a warmer, more social environment?
Sounds to me like you’re stuck here and have to suck it up! Good luck!
August 20th, 2010 at 10:32 am
You couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t live in Sweden but visit there frequently as my wife is Swedish and spend up to a month a year there. I have never experienced any of what you’re saying about Swedes–male or female. No one has ever been rude to me, I have never had any problem socializing with them and have many friends there. To say that Swedish women can’t socialize with strangers without being drunk is just plain stupid. If you are hanging around places where other airheads hang out that would be no surprise. You see, the majority of Swedish females don’t go to bars looking to be picked up by foreign idiots who they know are immature and have a ridiculous view of them. Why would they? If you’ve been there 3 years and haven’t figured out their view on things and how their society works that’s your fault not theirs. The fact you’ve have gotten nowhere in 3 years when every Swedish female is a distinct individual says it certainly IS your problem doesn’t it?
And as for whoever put out the nonsense about the Stockholm School of Economics being the Harvard of the north, they should look at today’s local which reports it ranks 346th in the world with Harvard ranking first. Dream on.
August 22nd, 2010 at 1:57 am
People in Stockholm are the snobbiest, shallowest people in the world, end of story. I have lived in Hollywood, and people there are like Mother Theresa/Ghandi compared to the wannabe-assholes in Sweden.
August 24th, 2010 at 3:10 am
@John Kulp
Dear John,
You don’t live in Sweden. Thank you for clarifying your limited perspective, which is evidently based on a once yearly summer holiday spent swanning around stockholm with your wife’s friends and family.
That explains your insightless comments.
Eric.
August 24th, 2010 at 11:23 am
They’re born of having been married to a Swede for 41 years, having both my children spend each a year there with no problems at all, and having seen plenty of immature 20 year old self-centered culturally insensitive twits get nowhere in Sweden because–well–they’re immature self-centered culturally insensitive twits. That, along with painting 9 million people with the same brush which is inherently just plain stupid. You probably ran into this guy and thought everyone were like him:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940170
September 3rd, 2010 at 12:32 pm
You are entitled to your opinion, isnt that great?? No one telling what you should feel or say, you can just say it out loud, fuckin loud for that matter!!!!!!! Feels good, doesnt it? Im not gonna be sorry for your perception of Sweden, my country, because if you don´t like it, you are more than welcome to leave! And to be honest, i have never ever read such a more biased blog, or forum, or whatever you may want to call this site, in my entire life. You said earlier that you dont sensor this blog. I think you do, challenge me to the opposite!
Cheers
Stefan
September 3rd, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Believe it or not Stefan – this blog is NOT censored. I approve all comments unless they are racist, obscene or spam. Anyone is welcome to post a comments here. I approve all comments as long as they are coherent and relevant, regardless of whether the comment agrees or disagrees with the position of my blog.