I agree with everything you say about Swedes. I am much older than you are, and I spent 15 years of my valuable as a professor in a swedish University. Swedish students are (most of them) rude and ignorant (where are my american students, which are always polite and eager to laern? (I am not american though)). Swedes 8especially the gals) are often “beautiful”, but empty, without any charm.
Your picture of the “socializing” swedes is also quite right.
I am happy to be back in Europe now.

Swedish – to be fair, I’ve only visited Stockholm – gave me the impression they can be quite reserved & wary of strangers. I opened a door to a lady when I saw her carrying two big pots of plants. I am a female by the way. I can see she was actually taken aback (took 2 steps backward), gave me scan through from top to bottom and back to top, like a street kitten being wary & unaccustomed to human touch, before I reassured her with a hand gesture to “go on, I hold the door and go ahead in”. With a smile, of course. She didn’t thank me verbally but she wasn’t defensively rude either. She just seemed confused but in a rush to get her pots indoor.

When I went back indoor and saw her there, talking to her colleagues, she gave me a slight nod of thank. She still has that unsure and wary expression on her. This is, perhaps, a culture (difference) shock to her? As I’ve later learnt in another experience at a different scenario within Stockholm, another wary and confused individual taken back by, what I’ve perceived as my natural reaction, to just “lend a hand”.

I wouldn’t go as far as saying the Swedish being an in-your-face rude loads. They are just very wary of any possible hidden agenda out of stranger’s kindness. Unaccustomed to express gratitude loudly but not one to exactly returns your kindness with vulgarity. Once they are given a little time to process, the tensed air will be cleared for them to reflect a little gratitude in a way they know how. I had a worse time in Paris and nowhere else in Europe are quite like that.

So, if you are acting out to others in a manner you’ve decided deem fit to your conscience based on individual case/personnel, does one put a blame onto others if the return/outcome isn’t a positive one? Their decisions aren’t within our controls. But our decisions are our own responsibilities.